


Looking For Mr. Good Shepherd

by Devilc



Category: Friday Night Lights
Genre: Gen, Laundrylist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-11
Updated: 2010-01-11
Packaged: 2017-10-06 04:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devilc/pseuds/Devilc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lyla prays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looking For Mr. Good Shepherd

**Author's Note:**

> Written for FNL Laundrylist #15, prompt 10 _ What does Lyla go away to pray about? Hell, does she even go to pray?_  
> (I so totally thought I was going to write about Matt, but Lyla just bowled him over.)

She just keeps thinking "Please, Jesus" as she sits on the edge of her crappy little bed in this miserable, actually kinda scary hotel and buries her head in her hands.

Please, Jesus.

But please _what?_

=Rid me of the lust in my heart

 

(by making a reality where it's okay for me to have both Jason and Tim).=

=Please help make me a better Christian

 

(than Tim Riggins). =

=Please make things right again at home.

 

(But they never were right at home. Something was rotten at the core and we all knew it, just tried to pretend otherwise.)=

=Please help my mom make the right choices.

 

(No, don't, not really. I like being self-righteous and holier-than-thou.)=

=Please make things easier

 

(because fuck what the Footsteps prayer says, I know you are not carrying me right now, you dropped me on my ass pretty damn hard about a year ago, and I've been crawling ever since).=

=Please let my parents not be too mad

 

(I know that nothing I ever say will make them understand why I had to come down here).=

=Please don't let them whisper too much at church

 

(because if certain people find out about this trip, I'll be kicked out of CTM, and too many people would like that).=

=Please let things work out okay with Santiago.

 

(I need at least one chalk mark in the win column right now. It would mean so much to me.)=

=Please let me get what I want

 

(despite the fact that saying that goes directly against the principles of J.O.Y. Put Jesus first, then Others, then Yourself)  
whatever that is. =

=Please just make it all the way it was. When Jason could walk and I had this whole beautiful future ahead of me, and all my plans were based around the fact that things always went right for me and Jason, and life was easy, and I had everything I ever wanted, only I didn't know it at the time, didn't fully appreciate how good I had it.

 

(I miss being that perfect, shining example, miss having people want to be me. I've been trying with CTM, but it's just not the same.)=

=Please don't let any large water roaches scuttle out of the tap when I take a shower tonight.

 

(I know that they are your creatures, too, but they're still gross and I'm ~~going to kill them~~ going to scream and make Tim come and kill them.)=

=Please stop making everything in my life hurt so damn much

 

(because I'm just so damn tired, and I am not Job).=

=Please let me find something that will fill me up inside

 

(it's dark and cold and empty in there and I am so scared of it. So scared of it.)=

But as she kneels down on the floor, emotions roiling, bows her head, rests her elbows on the bed, and folds her clammy hands, twisting them, anxiously waiting for the right words to come, Lyla can't come up with anything more than "Please, Jesus."

So.

Please, Jesus.

Just.

_Please_.


End file.
